The Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five Chronicles

If you want to learn more about me, or just have some spare time and you don't know what to do with it, these are the group emails I wrote in the 11 months that I was travelling around the place. Good luck, you'll need it - there's quite a bit of reading.

Grand Master Flash and Furious 5 Chapter 1.

First sent in August, 2004

"Hi Guys!

This is my first installment of some monthly group emails that I'm gonna try and keep up with. I will try and writie back to anybody that does reply but I will be using internet cafes therefore it won't be all that easy. This one is just going to be a short little one just to tell you about some new developments in the grand master plan.

I've been in Sydney for a week now.... and am enjoying the quite time that I'm having. However, I did get it in my mind that I had better go and see my cousin Lisa in Melbourne... since I really didn't know when the next opportunity would come along to go and see her. So on Monday I booked the flight, and by Thursday night I was in a cute little tapas/vodka bar in the heart of South Yarra drinking and eating it up with Lisa. Although I only stayed the night we managed to cram as much family goss in as we could... But I'm back in Sydney now and taking it easy until my training starts tomorrow.

I've now had a bit of a chance to think about things and I think I may stay a little longer in Europe that originally planned... I'm now thinking of up to 18 months if I can swing it in Europe and would really love to take up some sort of work in a ceramics factory.... maybe an apprenticeship or similar... It would be wonderful to spend more time with my friends
in Europe and really have the opportunity to see a lot more. So if you know of anyone that owns a ceramics factory in Europe... let me know and I'll look them up.

Anyways... that pretty much all my news for now. If anything really exciting happens in the next 4 weeks I shall let you know... but keep your eye out for Ch. 2.

Love you all.

Bonnie -xox-"


Grand Master Flash and Furious 5 Chapter 2.

And this is Chapter 2 first sent on September 7th, 2004.

"Hello hello all....

Let me tell you... what a crazy 3 weeks it has been.... you know the saying.... all things come in threes? Yup, well... that happened to me....

1. After staying at the Sydney YHA for a few nasty nights I contracted this bizarre horrid flu that's actually... all this time... still hanging on. There we all were, sitting in the Sydney YHA.... (there's 20 of us all together) coughing our lungs up and being hospitalized.... 1/4 of the group fell so ill that they were admitted and had to have an intrevenous drip! ICK... one of the guys.... came down with pnemonia.... yummy start to the email huh?

2. Between 2:30 and 4pm on Friday the 20th of August... some crazy bitch/bastard snuck into our room (in which we were staying in at the YHA) and stole my whole identity while I was sleeping (trying to get over the flu) in the same room! They then continued to have - what sounds like to me - a rather fun shopping spree across Sydney - the bastards! Luckily - by that time I had cancelled the card and got it all refunded to me. *phew* but that didn't relieve the fact that I had no money, no ID, no phone and no super duper lovely Sony Cybershot Camera that I had bought the week before :( So, being a Friday afternoon, I had to diligently wait until Monday morning - when I was supposed to fly out on Tuesday - to get some sort of passport, money, flight ticket and ID. Thank god for the Americans... being so nice as they were - they issued me an American passport without id... on the premis of the photocopy that I produced. The Aussies on the other hand... maybe me run around to Registry of Births, the medicare office AND to find someone that I knew for 12 months before issuing me one... and when I returned to them - nope, sorry - we can't give you a passport today! What a bunch of youknowwhatters. But I got enough excerise as it is - AND if anyone needs to know where any official office is in Sydney... I'm the one to call.

3. Shortly after I finally arrived in the US I received the unfortunate news that our poor puppy - Bingo - passed away from a heartattack at the age of 10. We certainly miss him dearly.

After a few days in lovely Big Bear - a mountain town in the city where Los Angelians go skiing - we embarked on our adventures. Our first mission was to a tiny college campus called Irvine Valley College - in the heart of Orange County where students drive porches and beemers..... we thought we struck it rich... but they were all too stuck up for our volunteer efforts. We're now settled in at our second campus which is the University of Southern California... right in the heart of Los Angeles with Hollywood on one side and Compton/Inglewood on the other... we're about 2 blocks (if anyone watches BBall or Ice Hockey) from the Staples Centre. We're staying at the Vagabond Inn and taking side trips to Santa Monica and Hollywood. We were featured in a big budget film today that was being filmed on campus - well.. actually we were just walking past... and so the fun continues.

On September the 11th - my partner, Ingrid and myself - fly out to Chicago which is part of our territory. Our territory includes Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky and Tennesse. Basically... we start in Chicago... and 3 months later we end up in Memphis. It's gonna be a real fun road trip!!

Well, that's pretty much all my news for right now... if you so desire... you can call me on my new mobile number which I acquired in downtown LA with a hot downtown LA area code. My number is *bleep* or please email :):)

Love you all.

Me (Bonnie)"

Grand Master Flash and Furious 5 Chapter 3.

Third chapter of the series first sent on October, 11th, 2004.

"Yup... it's that time again!

Cept, this time... it's not gonna be alllllllllllll that exciting.... Just a bit of a review as to what
has happened over the last few weeks....

Well, from LA,California to Reno, Nevada to Manhattan-don't-get-too-excited-Kansas to Lawrence, Kansas to the all exciting Carbondale, Illinois ending up in Bowling Green, Kentucky via Memphis, Tennessee it's been one interesting trip so far.

Certainly glad I'm not in Kansas anymore..... but while in Kansas I felt reasonably safe... due to the fact that there were no hurricanes, no earthquakes, no
volcanos, no plague of locusts and no presidential candidates.

Unfortunately, I don't keep a diary... always got bored about talking about myself... especially to myself... so... the details of the adventures thus far have been thoroughly archived in the dark recesses due to an unfortunate bout of traumatic stress syndrome.
Except for Memphis. Memphis was the first weekend we've had off since this whole bizarre experience began. And yes, I did the typical touristy things in Memphis... I went to Graceland, I listened to jazz bands and drank a lot of whiskey... all in all a good weekend. We also happened to run into an unlikely couple called Tom and Rachel - who had never met the likes of Mark T before (my new partner)... who are very cool and who I'm very glad we met up with - they were staying at our Super8 hotel and Tom just happened to work at the University we're at this weekend. We're meeting them for a few bottles of wine some stage this week.

Since we weren't allowed to call our team 'Where's the cash?' Mark T and I are fondly known by the rest of our recruiter buddies as the Neil Diamond Appreciation Society. And since Mark is a huge Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake and Phil Collins fan.... and I'm
certainly not... we compromised with Neil Diamond. Unfortunately, neither of us has a Neil Diamond CD... but it's a nice thought. So, as Mark T gets annoyed at my funny noises and I get annoyed by his lack of sense of direction and uncanny driving abilities, we roll down the highway singing as many Neil Diamond songs as we can both remember... which end up being one chorus line of Red, Red Wine and one phrase of Rooster in the Henhouse.

Vegas, baby - here I come.

Bonnie."

Grand Master Flash and Furious 5 Chapter 4.

I might as well keep going...... first sent on Thursday, 3rd of March, 2005. (I know - slack)

"My dearest friends,

On the report that I have been neglecting you all so much lately, I bring to you the next episode of my adventures. Since it has been so many months since my last chapter, I won't bore you with too many details; only tell you this:

After leaving New York, I stumbled across my father and Sharon at the airport in Dublin - funny how these things happen - and he took me to my grandmothers house where we dranks mug upon mug of tea. We partook it great many plates of biscuits and cakes and scones as they are so fond of doing in the great North of Ireland. There also, I happily
met with long lost cousins, uncles and aunties and drank many an amber pint. I managed to escape this poor situation that I found myself in and fled to Germany and happened upon the Republic of Little America - Airbase Rammstein (for those trivia heads out there
- don't deny it, I know who you all are) happens to be the largest settlement of Americans outside America. I spent a very pleasant Christmas there with Noah, Danielle, Amelia and Idefix. I wasted no time there, for on boxing day, I rambled along to Paris where Kris
and co., were well met. We feigned about being Parisian and drank wine with a flourish. But no time was to be wasted and in less than 36 hours later found myself being carried across the English Isle in search of a famed New Years Eve party which was all but notorious.
Such a 'Time' it was that we had there in Birmingham, excuse the pun, but I dressed my self up to be Time, that I plan to be at the very same party come next New Years - maybe. But I'm sure many of you know how my plans go, and I've all but given up making them.
After that little soiree, I looked forward to settling down in Northampton where the mushrooms don't grow in the wild and everybody is jolly. But I have taken up work again for a lettings agent - yes, tenants turn to me when their washing machine is broken - and I have settled down remarkably. I have since visited Oxford and avoided London. In the next couple of weeks I shall visit Belfast for St Patrick's Day, join a drama troupe, revist Oxford, have an adventure in Amsterdam and take up playing professional Risk.

Love to all, enlighten me with you happenings, and rejoice at the
flowers being born.

B. -xox-"

Grand Master Flash and the Furious 5 Ch. 4 (again)

I klnda forgot that I had already done a chapter 4... so here's the second Chapter 4. First sent on the 13th of August, 2005.

"I think it's up to chapter 4...? Correct me if I'm wrong..
but yes... I'm still alive...And I hope noone feels like I've been ignoring them... because - seriously... I've been ignoring everyone...not on purpose really.... but just because I've really had nothing to tell you. But since probably what... 6 months have passed since I last emailed I figured it was time and I do have some news.

First of all, I got internet access at home today!!! YAY!!! So... I can keep up with emails successfully! and I've got msn msger back... so look me up on *beep beep*.

You've probably noticed that I have changed my email address.. which is probably another reason I haven't been emailing... because my other box was advertising *way* too much for comfort and it was annoying. So please update your book to include *beep beep*.

But... to give you the uninteresting news: I am still living in Northampton... in my own little flat...:) I'm still working at the same company that I've been with since I arrived... and it's going well...

Please find below some interesting tidbits about me with the questions forwarded to me in an email from Anne-Marie; also, I've attached a picture... enjoy.

Love to all..

Bon Bon. -xox-


1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:40 when Martin woke me.
2. Diamonds or pearls? A kiss on the hand is quite continental but diamonds are a girls best friend
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wedding Crashers
4. What is your favorite TV show? Sex and the City
5. What did you have for breakfast? Special K and coffee - freshly brewed
6. What is your middle name? Rebecca
7. What is your favorite cuisine? A La Bonnie
8. What foods do you dislike or stay away from? Capsicum, bell peppers and red peppers depending on the country you're in.
9. Your favorite Potato chip? Salted
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Dave Matthews Band - Under The Table
11. What kind of car do you drive? Every Friday I get to drive the work car... a Ford Ka
13. Favorite item of clothing? My ugg boots
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? This is not a good question for me. But I really want to go to China
15. What color is your bathroom? White with a bit of orange features and magnolia walls
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Mother made knits
17. Where would you retire? California desert
18. Favorite time of week? Sunday mornings
19. Where were you born? Sydney
20. Favorite sport to watch? F1, cricket (watching the ashes as I type), ice hockey
21. Who do you least expect to send this back? don't expect anyone too.
22. Person you expect to send it back first?
23. What laundry detergent do you use? i don't know... smells nice though
24. Coke or Pepsi? bler.. neither
25. Are you a morning person or night owl? weekends i'm morning... weekdays night.
26. what is your shoe size? 10 in aussie language
27. Do you have pets? just my darling cat that looks after mum
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I got a pay rise last month... spent midsummer in Finland... and I almost broke up with Martin on Wednesday but didn't quite get there.
29. What did you want to be when you were little? an architect or actor
30. Favorite Candy Bar? Cadbury hazelnuts
31. What is your best childhood memory? being able to daydream freely.
32. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? i've worked in a stationery shop, a donut shop, 2 pancake restaurants, a mobile shop, a truck stop, a hardware shop and a lettings agency. I also used to recruit students but i try and erase that from my memory.
33. What is your favorite game to play with a group? Risk. I kick ass.
34. Nicknames: Bon Bon, Bon.that's it really.
35. Piercings: just my ears... but I have 3 tatoos.
36. Eye color: Dark Brown
37. Ever been to Africa ? Nup
38. Ever been toilet papering? Nup
39. Love someone so much it made you cry? While you were in love or when it ended?? Yep
40. Been in a car accident? yes and still suffering from the whiplash... poor willie.
41. Favorite day of the week? sunday morning
42. Favorite restaurant? imran balti
43. Favorite flower? tulip
44. Favorite ice cream? bler
45. Disney or Warner Brothers? I love them both
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? i miss taco bell
47. What color is your bedroom carpet? beige
48. How many times did you fail your driver's test? nunce
49. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Amber Evelyn
50. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Apple store is always tempting... or I'd spend it at Net-A-Porter.com
51. What do you do most often when you are bored? drink wine
52. Bedtime: 10-10:30
53. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire:
54. Last person you went to dinner with? Katherine for her birfday at the Wok Inn... all you can eat ala carte.
55. Ford or Chevy? definately ford.
56. What are you listening to right now? the cricket
58. Lake, Ocean or river? lake or ocean
59. How many tattoos do you have? 3
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? chicken
61. How many people are you sending this email to? all of you.
62. Time you finished this e-mail? 20 past 6"


Grand Master Flash & The Furious 5 Ch. 5

This was installment 6, first sent only a few weeks ago - 26th Feb, 2006:

"Well, hello there.

Thought I'd just send a little greeting to all of you to let you know
how I'm getting along, and just to ensure that I'm still staying in
touch.

Cambridge has been lov-el-y. I've been here just over a month now and
have had an awesome time. We've managed to arrange everything very
comfortable here and I've settled into the apartment well. Even my
Grand Bed feels right at home. I've only been out of work for about 5
days since I've been here, as temp work is free and flowing. At £8 per
hour, I'm not too cheap either, and on that hourly wage, I'm earning
just over what I was earning at Northwood in Northampton. So I'm all
good. I've been for about 5 interviews now. The last one of which was
for a long term temp assignment lasting about 3 months for £8 an hour,
but doing something that is far more interesting than answering phone,
fielding calls and filing. I'm taking it up, because one of the
companies I went to an interview for want to take me on in a different
role, but they haven't got the room just yet, so they told me to hold
on for a bit, and they'll be able to squeeze in. I'm definately going
to hold out for that company, mainly because of all the perks...
£18000 per year or so, 25 days holidays, private health care, stock
options etc etc...

Even though it snowed on Tuesday, the sun is shining today and we're
heading into Cambridge centre for a food and wine tasting afternoon at
a Jazz bar. Brings our 2 passions together in a cheap, fun filled
afternoon.

Anyways, if you still like to receive my emails, let me know that
you're out there, otherwise I'll cull my email address, like the
french are culling their chickens at the moment.

Attached is Dan and I at the picturesque seaside of Felixstow on Boxing Day.

Hope your week goes well for you.

Love me."